Meeting someone you only know from an online dating website could be wonderful – but it could also put you into some dangerous situations. When you are dating someone, you are giving them access to your life. To stay safe, it’s a good idea to be prepared and aware.
Safety tips for meeting someone you met online, first, include researching them online before you meet in person. Also, verify their identity, check for criminal history and keep your personal info safe by communicating through video calls.
If you are meeting people through online dating sites or an app, you are not alone; millions of single people have turned to online dating platforms hoping to meet their perfect match. When it comes time to meet a potential date in real life, it can be nerve-wracking, though.
Here are some safety tips to follow when meeting someone in person whom you’ve only met online.
What Safety Precautions I Should Take To Be Safe?
You know those meetings you have at work or school where you get a little scared by a resource officer or someone in charge of safety? Well, a first meeting with someone you’ve only met online is a good time to remember some of those safety measures.
- The best way to stay safe when meeting complete strangers in person is to make sure you do your research before agreeing to meet. This can help to find any red flags so you’ll know whether your online friend is telling you the truth or whether you should stay away.
- Everyone can be Googled these days, so use Google to find out as much information as you can about the person you are trying to meet. Check for any professional articles, businesses, social media profiles, etc that may be out there.
- Do a reverse image search of the person by clicking the Images tab in Google Search. Copy and paste a picture they gave you into the search bar and click “go”. This will verify if the picture they gave you is really them or if it’s stolen from another account.
- Look up their criminal history. Most counties have a website with public records of sex offenders and people’s criminal history. You can do a search of someone’s name without much effort if you know what county their home address is in.
- Never give out personal details, like your real contact information. Instead, give out a Google Voice phone number or use an app like CoverMe or WhatsApp to communicate. That way, you can just stop talking to them and can easily block their number if you find out something creepy about them
- Video calls can be a good way to confirm the person’s identity before meeting. Make sure you request to actually see their face and hear their voice. This not only confirms the identity of the person, but it also helps identify them when meeting for the first time.
- Use a dating app that has a lot of safety protocols in place already. Apps like Curtn, Ship, Bumble and League all verify their users via different social media sites and take safety extremely seriously.
- Once you decide that you want to meet this new friend in person, you should pick a safe place to meet in a public location.
- Also, send a text message to a close friend or family member so someone knows where you are and what you are doing
- Don’t drink during the meeting or do not drink too much. If you are unaware of your surroundings, you are putting yourself at risk.
- Drive yourself or take a rideshare. That way you can leave whenever you want. Park close by and if you need an excuse to leave, you can say that you have to go back to your car to get your wallet.
- Listen to your intuition or gut feeling. If something does not feel right, there probably is something that is off.
- Just in case – always carry something like pepper spray with you or any item that you can use as a weapon.
Why Take These Precautions
You should take these precautions because you don’t really know who this person is until you physically meet them. Even then, they can tell you all of the things you want to hear. You still don’t know if the person is telling the truth until you do your research.
How To Stay Safe When Meeting Up For The First Time
When meeting someone new – no matter where you meet them – always be aware of your surroundings. These days, it is hard to tell anyone’s true intentions and if you aren’t aware of what is going on around you, you might put yourself in a dangerous position.
Also remember that if you are drinking, you aren’t going to be as careful or as aware of your surroundings as you would if you were sober. Make a good judgment based on your gut feeling and intuition – but it’s usually best to stay sober on a first date with a new person.
Meet up in a public place and drive yourself there. That way, if you want to get away from a sketchy situation, you can leave.
Be sure to to tell someone you trust where you are going and what you are doing. If you want to be extra cautious, set a timer on your phone to text this trusted person to say you are okay. If you do not text, they’ll know you’re not okay.
What Are The Dangers Of Meeting Someone Online?
The biggest danger in the online dating world is that the person on the other end of the phone or computer is trying to cause you harm. Remember, if something does not feel right, it probably isn’t right.
A study done by the Pew Research Center suggests that most online dating users are more worried about data breaches, identity theft, or the dating app leaking their personal information. They are less concerned for their general safety, which is something they feel they can control.
Hackers and Catfish
We all know there are people out there who use the web to cause harm or steal from you. These people are called hackers and catfishers.
Here’s how you can tell the difference between them:
| Type | What are they? | What are the signs? |
| Hackers | They will try to steal your personal information, like credit card numbers, your social security number, family’s information, bank account, etc. This could do irreparable damage to your credit or reputation. | Hackers ask for money or sensitive information. Sometimes you can tell you are talking to a hacker because they ask you specific “typical security password” questions like your mother’s maiden name, first pet’s name, or first car make and model. If you’ve been hacked, your friends usually receive social media friend requests or notifications from you that you did not post. Often, your device has been affected by some sort of malware or ransomware message that was installed onto your computer. |
| Catfishers | Catfishers don’t use their real name or photo online They deceive and manipulate for many reasons. Maybe they want revenge. Maybe they want to hide who they really are. Some do it simply because they want to. | The goal is to get money from you, so they generally say all the right things (tell you things you want to hear). Sometimes, they will befriend you and then give you a sob story about needing financial help. If they avoid showing their face or If they agree to video chat and then cancel at the last minute, they likely are catfishing you. This person’s online account may not have many friends or interactions or, on the flip side, their social media accounts might look too good – almost like a fairy tale |
On many dating apps and websites, you can report the user if they are not who they say they are. There are also many different safety protocols that dating apps and online sites take now to ensure the safety of their users.
Be aware of the signs of catfish and hackers and don’t give the person you are talking to any private information.
How Do You Make Sure The Person You Met Online Is Real?
It’s just good common sense to research whether the person you met online is real. There are several ways you can do this.
A great place to start is with Google – and then, try social media accounts. If you still can’t find anything that will prove or disprove what this person is telling you, move to conducting a reverse image search and then a criminal history search.
Here is how to research someone:
- Use Google – Google the person and see if what they are telling you is actually the truth. You might be able to verify what you have been told all along or you might see something you did not know was true that would turn you off.
- Social Media Account search – If you find multiple accounts on one platform with the same picture, they’re probably fake accounts. If you find the same information across multiple platforms, however, it is possible they’re telling you the truth.
- Reverse Image Search – An easy way to tell if you are being catfished is to run a “reverse image search.” To do this, save one of the person’s selfies to your computer, then go to images.google.com and upload the image, You’ll be able to see if the picture matches the name.
- Do A Criminal Record Report Search – Criminal records are part of the public record in the United States. If you know what county the person lives in, or has lived in in the past, you can search for their name on most county government websites.
How Long Should You Wait To Meet Someone You Met Online?
It is up to you how long you should wait to meet someone online. If you have done your research on the person and like what you see, meeting sooner might be the key. A general consensus is that one to two weeks is best, though.
Even if you meet up at closer to one week, it will still give you enough time to check them out. Plus, you can get to know the person better by talking to them on the phone and video chatting with them.
If you wait closer to two weeks, this gives you time to bow out if you find something you don’t like when you are doing your research. This also gives you more flexibility to determine if you really want to meet the person that you met online.
The thing to remember is that, if you let too much time pass, you might start overthinking or over researching.
What Is The Safest Online Dating Site?
There are several dating sites and apps that have beefed up their safety protocols due to their customer’s concerns. Online daters do not want to worry about data breaches, and they want to feel assured that they are talking to a real person.
Here are four very safe online dating apps:
- The League is an app for ambitious and driven professionals. This app verifies their users through their LinkedIn profiles and requires users to video chat, which essentially checks two safety boxes.
- Bumble allows women to message the men first to make contact. Users also must verify their identity using a photo. They also can access in-app video and voice calling features to communicate, so they aren’t giving out personal information.
- Ship is an app that makes your loved ones part of the matchmaking experience. Friends or family create a dating profile for you and become the “crew” of your ship. In turn, you send them the matches you are interested in and let them help you with online research.
- Curtn is an online dating site that uses video profiles and live video chats for personal interactions within the apps. There is no hiding with this app because of the video interaction.
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