Here’s how to deal with a stalker online:
- Tell the person one time that you don’t want them harassing you
- Ignore future messages
- Consider starting new accounts and encrypting future communications
- Block the cyberstalker
- Let friends and family know what’s going on so they can keep an eye out for you
- If you feel like your safety is threatened, call the police
According to Vox, in 2021, it’s estimated we’ll be on our phones online for four hours per day.
While you may spend your time playing games or catching up with friends, what happens when a stalker begins tracing all your online activities?
Having a cyberstalker can be just as terrifying as someone physically following you, if not more so.
Read on to find out how to deal with and avoid a stalker online, plus how to defend yourself against them.
What Qualifies As Cyberstalking?
With so much of our communication with friends and loved ones happening online, when exactly does someone cross the line from benign curiosity to something more malicious?
If you glance through a friend’s entire Facebook photo album or look up your ex’s new girlfriend or boyfriend, is that cyberstalking?
Good news – neither of those situations is cyberstalking. According to the National Conference of State Legislatures or NCSL, cyberstalking entails: “the use of the Internet, email, or other electronic communications to stalk, and generally refers to a pattern of malicious behaviors.”
The NCSL, in the above link, mentions a federal cyberstalking statute that makes clearer what cyberstalking means.
That statute says that cyberstalking is “any course of conduct or series of acts taken by the perpetrator on the Internet that place the victim in reasonable fear of death or serious bodily injury, or causes, attempts to cause, or would be reasonably expected to cause substantial emotional distress to the victim or the victim’s immediate family.”
There are several types of cyberstalking, including:
- Corporate cyberstalking: With corporate cyberstalking, a company or members of that company target another organization or company. Doing so is usually motivated by revenge, financial gain, or to smear the other company’s reputation.
- Online mob cyberstalking: An online mob might cyberstalk an individual one member at a time or all at once.
- Celebrity cyberstalking: We all have a favorite celebrity or two, but some people take it too far. Public persons are not immune to this type of cyberstalking either.
- Intimate partner cyberstalking: When cyberstalked by an ex or even a current intimate partner, it often counts as domestic violence.
- Gender-based cyberstalking: Selecting a cyberstalking victim is sometimes as easy as one’s gender. This is referred to as online gender-based violence and can affect both men and women.
- Stranger cyberstalking: The last type of cyberstalking is that done by someone you don’t know. A stranger might choose to cyberstalk you because your online presence has vulnerabilities, but there’s no personal motivation to it.
What Are Some Examples Of Cyberstalking?
Constituting what’s cyberstalking versus what isn’t can be challenging.
Here are some examples of what a cyberstalker will typically do to weaken your defenses and get what they want.
- Make derogatory or defamatory statements about you, including on message boards, social media platforms, and websites.
- Subscribe you to services you’re not interested in or send you packages with things you don’t want. For example, the cyberstalker might mail you sex toys or sign you up for a pornography service.
- Mail you viruses and then attack your computer or steal your information once they get in.
- Add more people to the cyberstalking and harassing, often by telling lies about what you did to garner sympathy. The cyberstalker might say you fired them or broke their heart.
- Twist the story and try to say that you’re cyberstalking them, not the other way around. This is known as false victimization.
- Watch your IP address and monitor your online activities.
- Get close to those in your life to try and learn more about you, such as where you work, places you go, people you’re friends with, and even where you live.
- Request sex, even if the victim is underaged.
Scary, but true – some cyberstalking is done exclusively online while other stalkers, once they learn more about you, will add real-life stalking to their list of offenses.
Is There An App To Stalk Someone?
Let’s say that you never share your password and you have an antivirus program on your computer. You also watch what you post on social media.
Yet despite all that, you think you have a cyberstalker – and it’s not someone you know.
How did this person find you? Is there some sort of app cyberstalkers can use to track down their next victims?
Yes, there are apps for cyberstalking, as outrageous as that seems!
These apps may be accessible through the Google Play Store and the Apple App Store. This 2019 article from UK news resource Independent mentions a slew of apps that allowed for cyberstalking. They had such questionable names as Spy Kids Tracker and Employee Work Spy.
According to the article, the apps had been downloaded some 130,000 times.
They were taken down soon after by Google, but even once an app is no longer downloadable, it’s accessible for those who already have the app. That means up to 130,000 people could use these stalking apps.
Many of these apps masquerade as being helpful. For example, Independent writes about SMS Tracker, one such app that Google removed.
The app says in its description that it can help your company save more money and improve employee productivity. Other apps are supposed to help concerned moms and dads oversee their child’s online activities.
If you think this problem is limited to the Google Play Store or was eradicated when Google deleted those troublesome apps, think again.
This 2019 article from Financial Times mentions apps such as FlexiSPY, TheTruthSpy, and mSpy that are all very much online and active as of this writing in 2021.
Will they get removed someday? Most definitely. Will other apps pop up in their place? Certainly.
How Can I Prove Cyberstalking?
Cyberstalking can be hugely detrimental, erasing your sense of security and affecting your quality of life. Even if you get rid of your stalker on one site or platform, they might pop up on another one with a different name.
At this point, you may decide to involve law enforcement and an attorney.
To create a case against your cyberstalker, you’l need proof of what’s happening. This will allow law enforcement to pursue your case to the fullest extent of the law.
So, what constitutes proof?
Documentation, mostly. From here on out, if you’re not doing so already, anytime you get a harassing message, see a defamatory photo or post about you, or receive a mean email, screenshot it.
Make sure in your screenshot that you have the whole message, taking multiple screenshots if necessary.
Don’t cut off or obscure important information like who sent the message and when.
Law enforcement might ask you to make a victim personal statement. In this statement, you can describe the case in full.
Make sure that you explain how being cyberstalked has changed your life, whether that’s financially, psychologically, emotionally, mentally, physically, or a combination of the above.
It’s important to note that a state’s definition and punishment of cyberstalking can vary. If someone goes to jail for cyberstalking, provided that the case is successfully proven in court, the criminal may be charged with a misdemeanor at best and a felony at worst.
With a misdemeanor, the cyberstalker would only be in jail for about a year. If they’re charged with a third-degree felony, they could spend up to 10 years in jail.
How To Get Rid Of A Stalker Online
Are you ready for your cyberstalking nightmare to end? Here are some tips for getting rid of a stalker online.
Tell The Cyberstalker Once To Leave You Alone
Some victims know who their cyberstalker is while others have no idea. In the former case, you might consider sending the stalker a firm message telling them to quit contacting you.
Ignore, But Document, All Future Communications
In some cases, a warning message like this works, but not always. If the cyberstalker continues contacting you anyway, make sure you’re documenting everything through screenshots.
Remember that this is your best defense in proving a case of cyberstalking in a court of law.
Start New Accounts And Encrypt Everything
You might want to consider new social accounts if the ones you’re currently using are being bombarded to oblivion by the cyberstalker. Make your accounts private and limit who you give the account name to.
Use an encryption service, as well, so your messages can’t be easily decoded by a savvy stalker.
Could the cyberstalker still find your new accounts? That’s a possibility, unfortunately, so take steps to protect your digital footprint.
Block The Cyberstalker
Because the cyberstalker could find your new accounts, it’s a good idea to block them before they have a chance to look you up.
On most social media platforms and websites, once you block someone, you don’t show up in search results.
Even if the stalker could access your account, they wouldn’t be able to comment on it or message you directly.
Keep Your Friends And Family In The Loop
Your friends and family are likely very much aware of the cyberstalking situation you’re going through.
Ask them to keep their eyes peeled for the presence of the cyberstalker, who may try to follow them or chat with them to extract information about you.
You can also rely on your loved ones for support during this trying time.
If You Feel Unsafe, Contact The Police
Please don’t think that cyberstalking isn’t a criminal offense, as it very much is.
If the cyberstalker is threatening to hurt you, rape you, or even kill you, you need to take those threats seriously and call the police right away.
Conclusion
Cyberstalking may be done on its own or in tandem with in-person stalking.
Whether your cyberstalker is someone you know or a complete stranger, having a stalker can ruin your professional and personal life.
Now that you know how to handle a cyberstalker, you can feel safer online.
Even if you’re not currently being stalked, it’s not a bad idea to take some precautionary measures to make yourself harder to find online!
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